There's a phrase that is thrown out that I've heard a lot of lately that I don't agree with: "Perception is Reality". That whatever you put out there is how people will read you. Sure, if you're meeting someone for the first time and you don't make a great impression (maybe you had a bad morning, have a headache, have a lot on your plate), people will judge you based on that initial meeting. Sure, we all put out there what we want people to see: the beautiful home, the great marriage, the perfect baby, the great style. Sure, we can act composed, put together, and "above it all" when we want to.
But if people actually believe our lives are like that all the time or judge us based on initial meetings, then I think that's their fault, not ours. So we've all heard the phrase "perception is reality" but how about "don't judge a book by it's cover"? Who knows what has led someone to act the way they do or respond to situations in a certain way? Here's another one: "put yourself in another person's shoes."
One of the most frustrating things about being a new mom is that people don't talk about the "real" stuff. The screaming for four hours straight at 2am stuff, the breast feeding is hard as shit stuff. The acid reflux, the ear infections, the mom guilt, the difficulty losing that last 5 (ok 15) pounds. The babies cost a fortune stuff! I sat back and thought, ok, women don't want to talk about that stuff for a reason. Why? Are we afraid it will make us seem weak, like not good moms? Am I the only mother out there whose Christmas card experience was like this:
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| Perception |
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| Reality |
If I meet a mom and her kid is screaming, her hair's a mess, she's forgotten her diaper bag, she's wearing last night's sweats with boob milk all over (wait, is this me?), am I going to judge her? No way. Same with the mom who has her hair perfectly coiffed, smashing outfit, and a week's worth of baby arsenal in her Gucci diaper bag (although I will ask, what's your secret, who's your nanny, and how did you invent the 36 hour day?). Not going to do it. Or at least, I'll try. Unless either one of them is a complete brat...then maybe I'll chalk it up to a bad day...or headache. Because who knows?! That could be me (no, not the one with the perfect hair, the one with the 2 day old outfit on). And I've realized its ok to not be perfect all the time. If people perceive me as not having my shit together, it may be true. But like most new moms out there, I'm trying my best to juggle a career, a house, a marriage, family, friends - and oh yeah, a baby. While somewhere in there throwing in a minute or two to myself.
So how about it moms, please tell me that this motherhood stuff is HARD and that I'm not the only one who thinks so!
Attempting to keep it together 24/7,
Elizabeth
