My First Full Year of Motherhood

Throughout 2013 our family obviously was very busy with the new addition to our household! We started off the year celebrating and loving on our new little guy and then I went back to work in the beginning of February. Four months of being with Conrad 24/7 and then all of a sudden handing him over to someone else for 10 hours a day?! Rude awakening. As I've mentioned before, this is the worst part about being a working mom. But hey, the baby's gotta eat! Here's some things I wish I knew before but learned well in 2013:

1. I can survive on >6 hours of sleep per night OR sleep/wake/sleep/wake off and on for 8+ hours. The husband, however, tends to be a bit more grouchy when forced to do this. I realize there are reasons why women are moms as men can't handle the lack of sleep too well.

At least he got some sleep!

2. Breastfeeding is HARD. And you know what? If you end up not following through for the whole recommended year, it's OK. Your baby will survive. Just like those that breastfeed their child until they're 18 don't like to be judged, neither do moms who only do it for 3 months.

3. Anything you read in baby books you can find on the internet. I have about 5 different sleep method books and 3 different baby first year books and used none of them. And guess what?! Conrad slept through the night after 8 months without some sort of crazy rigid method. He eats well without some sort of crazy eat this first then that. Do what works for you and whats healthy for your baby.

4. Doctors don't always have the answers and YOU are your child's advocate. If you think something's wrong or not right, keep pushing on Momma!

5. Think your lifestyle was different than your single friends before? Hey, at least you could still join them for happy hour. Get ready to host wine night at your house instead and pray they don't mind toys all over the place and you wearing two-day old yoga clothes covered in spit up. Hey, at least you have wine.

6. Speaking of wine, it's my new best friend. Mama can always use more wine when she gets a lot of "whine" from the baby. HA, see what I did there?

Looks like C-Rad would like some wine too!

7. You will be judged for anything and everything you do. You learn not to care.

8. If you don't believe in yourself, you'll drown in self-doubt and worry. But you know what? There are worse parents out there than you (read: Britney Spears? entire cast of 16 and pregnant?) so try your hardest to do right by your child and the rest doesn't matter - the matching clothes, perfect nursery, and right on target schedule are all meaningless as long as your baby is healthy and happy.

9. Schedule? What schedule?! Let go.

10. Don't compare yourself and your child to others. Do what works for you and your family; you'll drive yourself crazy trying to keep up with everyone else!

11. The dishes can wait. So can the laundry, vacuuming, and bed-making. Oh, and the baking, organizing, and polishing silver?! Forget about it. What can't wait are the moments your baby laughs, walks, and talks. What can't wait are the cuddles, book-reading, and block building. These are important.

12. I used to think I wanted to work up that corporate ladder right away - time was money. But now, time is time and you can't get it back. "I wish I had spent more hours in the office" - said no one ever.

13. Never underestimate the power of a good cry. Or muffled scream while hiding in your bathroom. Hey, whatever relieves your stress.

14. Take care of yourself! Don't be afraid to ask the husband, friend, neighbor, grandparent to watch the baby while you get a mani, go to the gym, drive to Starbucks and veg for an hour. You deserve it and shouldn't feel guilty.

15. Guilt! Oh the guilt! When your brain is telling you that you aren't doing enough, tell it to back the bus up and take a look at the beautiful child you carried for 9+ months and brought into the world. Did you feed him, clothe him, cuddle, kiss, and play with him today? It's enough.

16. Remember who your partner is when raising a child and learn to trust in them. Sean is an amazing father and I don't doubt his abilities for a second and appreciate all that he does and should probably thank him more as there are Dads out there that do absolutely nothing.

17. Take pictures, lots and lots of pictures! Every day if possible.

Oh, the outfits! Not enough days for them all...

18. Frozen foods, crock pot meals, and take out or delivery were the best things invented. EVER.

19. Now that Conrad is older, I try to make time in the morning before he wakes up to shower, do my hair, and makeup. After all, I'm still a real person and feel better when I'm put together (even if I'm overwhelmed on the inside, hey, at least I look great!) even if I'm at home by myself.

20. In order to do the above it's best to go to bed early. Sure, I'd love to stay up late and read or catch up on shows but at this point...who cares if Emily Thorne ever gets her Revenge on the Grayson family, she doesn't have a 14 month old to take care of.

21. If you don't have time to see friends and family as often as you'd like, still text and call or email them to keep up with their lives. Technology is great so take advantage of it!

22. There's always tomorrow. Or later today. If you didn't get it right at this moment, your child won't break or be scarred for life.

23. It's ok to want to run away sometimes. You know you're not really going to do it so imagining you're on a tropical beach without the baby and hubby can be a nice vay-cay for the brain.

24. Even when your little one is screaming and crying or throwing a tantrum, cherish him, love him. Before you know it, he'll be out of the house and on his own. Take advantage of every second.

Attempting to keep it together 24/7,

Elizabeth

Daycare Woes

So, as many working mothers can I'm sure relate, going back to work and deciding on a daycare is the most difficult thing you can do. Some are fortunate to have family watch their little ones (like my sister!), some are able to afford in-home nannies (lucky!), and the rest of us have to do tons of research, interviews (although this is done with nannies too), and visits. Then there's the endless mind-games you play with yourself: is this the right fit? is he in the right environment? is he being well cared for and loved? Mom guilt goes on overload at this point.

We were fortunate to find an in-home daycare right on our street; Miss Farzaneh lives about 10 houses down from us and just happened to finish sitting for a family that moved away. Which meant that Conrad was the only baby and got her undivided attention! With his feeding issues, weird napping (aka, NO naps) schedule, and general fussiness, this was perfect. She is like another grandmother for him! He's completely spoiled because I'm sure all she did was hold him all day. However, now that he's older, this just does not fly. He constantly whines to be held at all times and freaks out when you put him down. We have a regular little prince on our hands!

While the undivided attention has been good, I'm starting to think that he'll need to be around other kids soon. And while she has lots of toys and interactive things for him, I'm always worried about whether or not he's being stimulated enough. She doesn't speak English very well (she's from Iran) and so I'm not sure how much learning there is going on. I know that at a year old, there's no big rush to "learn" anything crazy but it would be nice to know that they are reading books, singing songs, and other educational things once in  while.

There are a couple different daycares, both in home and not, that I've looked into. The issue is that they are more expensive (daycare in the DC Metro area is RIDICULOUSLY expensive) and not as convenient. And who knows if they'll actually be better?

Maybe I'll just quit my job and stay home. We'll be poor and have to live in a one bedroom shack, but I would be home with Conrad. What's a mom to do? I mean, who wouldn't want to be with this little guy all day?

Finally taking some advice

Things have been more than a little crazy in our house lately so blogging fell by the wayside for a hot second. But....I'm back! And I'm sure all my lovely 6 readers missed me dearly ;)

Work has been super crazy but I must say that the meal planning I mentioned recently as well as hiring a cleaning person IS AMAZING. Why didn't I suck it up and do this before!? Like I've been saying with all things motherhood-related, why didn't anyone tell me?! I swear, I'm going to make a list so this doesn't happen to other new working moms. Or maybe they did tell me and my stubborn self thought "stop telling me what to do!" I'm thinking it's unfortunately the latter.  But now I realize all that well-meant advice might have actually had some sustenance behind it and I'm wishing I remembered it all.
There's so much pressure to be the best at everything (well, maybe this is pressure I put on myself) whether it's work, home, as a mom, wife, friend, or family member. I'd been feeling stretched a little thin and I'm learning to say "no" to things now - dinners out, projects at work, parties, etc. Someone once told me that it's ok to do this - glad I'm finally taking that advice as well.

Any other pieces of wisdom anyone can give me? I promise I'm listening now. :)

RANT: Commuting and Driving in General

As I recently mentioned in this post work has been kind of crazy lately. I am very fortunate that my commute is only 15 minutes to my actual office; this is one of the main reasons we sold our previous house and moved where we did last year. My commute was previously HIDEOUS as most people in the DC Metro area can relate to. However, a large part of my job involves driving to client homes all over VA, MD, and sometimes DC. While I love my job and visiting my my peeps in their homes, I think that driving all over is the biggest WASTE OF TIME EVER! Why can't we just create a self-driving car already?? I mean, come on: light bulbs, Man on the Moon, Squeeze Bacon (yes, ew), Justin Bieber...where's the auto-car?

Thank God for cell phones and bluetooth at least. And sending emails at red lights (yes, guilty, let the comments begin). I could be doing so much more in the amount of time I spend driving!

The worst part is when I'm driving to pick up my baby boy. If there's traffic when I'm trying to get to him, I FREAK OUT. But, then I need to remember to keep it cool as there are some terrible drivers around here and I'm no good to my family in a car wreck.

So, if anyone is up for inventing the self-driven car...hit me up and I'll for sure invest!

Keep it in Perspective

Things have been super stressful lately - I'm really busy at work, taking work home with me every night, and Conrad was REALLY fussy and sick this past week. It turns out our sweet baby had what is commonly known as "Hand, Foot, and Mouth" disease. A virus that is apparently common in babies but causes uncomfortable blisters in their mouth/throat, feet, and hands. Our little guy just wouldn't eat, was fussy, and seemed listless and tired. Sean took him to the doctor, and although there is no medication and he's already seeming better, at least we knew what was wrong. As most moms can probably agree, its HORRIBLE not knowing what is wrong with your little one.

I was thinking as I was driving home how stressed I was - with work, a sick child, money (we have a beautiful home but this area is EXPENSIVE to live in!), keeping the house clean, relationship stuff...you name it. Then as I was browsing Pinterest, I came across this:

Hello!!!! First world problems I have - a job I love that pays me well, a lovely little "small town" in the midst of crazy busy suburbs, a beautiful home (and our second home at that! we were fortunate that we bought our first house very young), and friends and family that love me. Plus, despite him being sick, I have these precious moments with this amazing little one:

So, I slapped myself and said "Wake up, Elizabeth!" And be thankful for what you have. Sure, money is tight, but freaking cut back on your Starbucks!!!!!! Sure, your house is a mess, but hey, you'd rather spend time with your baby, and as mom always said "No one was ever killed by a dust bunny". Sure work is busy but YOU HAVE A JOB. As I said, first world problems.

So, I am now trying to be thankful every day for what I have and keep in perspective all my issues. And you know what? It's helped!

 I highly recommend it.

Attempting to keep it together 24/7,

Elizabeth

Working Mom Fashion

When I first went back to work from maternity leave, it was exciting to be able to wear “real people clothes” after living in yoga pants and nursing tanks for almost four months. However, that novelty quickly wore off when I remember what a pain it was to dress for work every day. I work with seniors – mainly those in their 80s – and my company requires “business casual” dress, erring on the side of a little more formal. We’re talking panty hose if you wear a skirt or dress *insert gag here*, jacket or sweater, suits preferred….aka, don’t look trendy or cute. SO…my big dilemma is how to stay professional while not aging myself, losing my sense of style, or generally making myself want to vomit when entering the ladies room and catching a glance in the mirror on a break.

I’ve found that the best way to go is keep apparel simple and use accessories to add a little pizzazz. Here’s some pieces that I’m loving:

Nordstrom

Maude

Modcloth

C Wonder

And during the winter, which is the only time I’ll wear pantyhose at all, I’ll wear it in black, textured, or sometimes if I’m being daring, a dark-colored navy or plum. But never nude (lol, anyone watch Arrested Development? Tobias? Never Nude? Ok, nevermind…). Why? I can never find it in the right color or thickness. I end up looking super-duper tan or ghostly white. There’s no in between for me. I’ve found the best places to shop for said liked (and I say “liked” very limitedly as I would rather not wear any) tights are H&M, The Limited, Express, and then of course Nordstrom’s or Lord & Taylor if you want to pay $30 for a pair of tights that will rip the first chance you wear them. Can you tell I’m bitter about this topic?

I’ve also found that pairing a bold shoe with blah suit is fun as well:

via Macys

via Zappos

via Piperlime

Any ideas from other working moms out there?

Attempting to keep it together 24/7,

Elizabeth